In Love with GBF? help?
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Alcemistnv [567 candy corns] (#3906)
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Feel like this should go here...so yea...
GBF means gay best friend...
And Al has kinda, really fallen.
I mean...REALLY
And it started because at the beginning of the semester, Al thought he was bi, and then found out he was gay. But, that hasn't stopped any feelings. And as a result, Al is kinda really fustrated. He's not flamboyant or anything, but we both have very similar interests, we hang out a lot (like, I hang out with him more than anyone else), and I'm often in his room just chilling.
And we just went out today, and we were together ALL day. We went to a party and because he was a bit tipsy, I had to hold onto him for support. And that involved arms linked togeter. And at the party, there was a lot of hand holding.
Now, yes, its just hand holding for safety reasons. However, Al finds hand holding to be very special to me, so it's kind of hard to feel like it was just safety reasons. And now....Al doesn't know what to do.
He'll do things to me that would be seen as flirty if he was straight. Like, he'll hold my waist to get my attention, he'll lay down with me when we're tired, and it just hurts me a little bit, because I know he's gay. But the thing is that, he's dated a girl in the past. And I really feel close to him.
I'm not sure what to do..
help?
GBF means gay best friend...
And Al has kinda, really fallen.
I mean...REALLY
And it started because at the beginning of the semester, Al thought he was bi, and then found out he was gay. But, that hasn't stopped any feelings. And as a result, Al is kinda really fustrated. He's not flamboyant or anything, but we both have very similar interests, we hang out a lot (like, I hang out with him more than anyone else), and I'm often in his room just chilling.
And we just went out today, and we were together ALL day. We went to a party and because he was a bit tipsy, I had to hold onto him for support. And that involved arms linked togeter. And at the party, there was a lot of hand holding.
Now, yes, its just hand holding for safety reasons. However, Al finds hand holding to be very special to me, so it's kind of hard to feel like it was just safety reasons. And now....Al doesn't know what to do.
He'll do things to me that would be seen as flirty if he was straight. Like, he'll hold my waist to get my attention, he'll lay down with me when we're tired, and it just hurts me a little bit, because I know he's gay. But the thing is that, he's dated a girl in the past. And I really feel close to him.
I'm not sure what to do..
help?
Alcemistnv [567 candy corns] (#3906)
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04-1-2012 at 12:26 PM
aww that sounds so cute though :)<br /> <br /> <br /> Yea, he told me that he's emotionally attracted to girls, not physically. But he said there were times when he's thought about doing things with girls, shall I say. Oh, and this all ended up coming out when he was tipsy/drunk xD
Nitrous (#9181)
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04-1-2012 at 11:57 AM
Oh boy.<br /> This happened to Nitrous in high school. <br /> <br /> But when I ended up telling him, he said he liked me too but came out to me immediately after. <br /> <br /> We both decided we didn't want to pursue anything though, since we were such good friends, and for a while after that he told me he found a few other girls attractive but has since come out publicly as fully gay and is now engaged.<br /> <br /> Personally I found loving him as a best friend to be the best way of doing it. :)
Alcemistnv [567 candy corns] (#3906)
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03-31-2012 at 7:54 PM
Al knows xD<br /> <br /> It's whats best for him anyways :3
Steaks (#5484)
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03-31-2012 at 7:50 PM
He sounds questioning. Again though, I'd wait for him to come to you :P Don't rely/hope it happens though cause if he goes for a dude, you're gonna be disappointed
Alcemistnv [567 candy corns] (#3906)
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03-31-2012 at 7:04 PM
ooohh, Al needs to clarify a bit xD<br /> <br /> You see, he claims he's 100% gay, but at the beginning of the year, he wasn't sure. And he still isn't sure.<br /> <br /> That's where the issue lies. It's like, I don't want to go with someone else if something does happen, y'know? And if he is sure he's only attracted to guys, then I'm fine. I won't cry over it. But its still just something that's kinda bugging me
Steaks (#5484)
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03-31-2012 at 1:45 AM
Yeah.. speaking from experience by the way. I've had straight guy friends that joked around in a way that could come off as flirting.. and it never ended well
Maggots New Side (#16)
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03-31-2012 at 1:20 AM
What Clay said. If he is certainly gay, it's not going to work and you're only going to hurt yourself. He would not be attracted to you in that way at all. Maybe you should focus on some other friends you have. I don't mean completely cut off contact or anything but maybe give yourself some space from him. Let yourself cool off a bit and get your head straightened out. <br /> <br /> By found out.. did he tell you or did someone else? I'm not sure how close you are but maybe you could just ask him if he wasn't the one to tell you himself.
Steaks (#5484)
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03-31-2012 at 12:49 AM
Don't chase after him. In order to avoid any possible heartbreak, try not to think of him in certain ways, try and tell yourself that he's gay and prefers males. Trust me, if he's really gay and isn't at all questioning, you're gonna end up really upset if you don't cut the feelings off now.<br /> If you believe that he may be questioning or even a little bi, just let him come to you. If he's bi and has interest in you he will come to you :)