07-5-2011 at 8:30 AM

Ala is not saying pretend it doesn't exist it's saying for everyone's emotional safety, don't talk about it in a extremely public place like chat. do it in private chat. or in a specified thread/forum or even in a message. message the person and be like "meet me in the 18 forum, gender/sexuality thread". yes it's a hassle, but it's a precaution.

07-5-2011 at 8:27 AM

Yes, but Ala does so in a horrible way, by telling us not to talk about it, acting as if we don't exist. Yes, it's horrible that that happened to her. But all I can say is too bad, but life goes on. Life sucks, it really does. And you gotta look past that to make something of it. You think I'm being insensitive? I was bullied my entire life. I was that child everyone laughed at in elementary school, middle school was the same. And at the end of my freshman year, I realized that it wasn't going to change unless I changed. So I did. I'm not saying that's true of everyone, but I'm saying life is what you make it. And I'm trying to make it a better place for LGBT youth by trying to make it so that they don't feel isolated and alone.

07-5-2011 at 8:23 AM

and my friend shouldn't have had to deal with that in the first place, which is why ala does this to obliterate it's chances of happening in the first place.

07-5-2011 at 8:21 AM

it is so hard to talk to you because of how infuriating you are, stop saying i epically failed and laughing at me and putting happy faces. i don't appreciate it and find it disrespectful.

07-5-2011 at 8:19 AM

"be a little open-minded."<br /> <br /> ....I'm not even going to comment on that fail. Sorry that I don't want to be seen as a second-class citizen whose private life is seen as inappropriate because of close-minded bigots.<br /> <br /> "that fact that you laughed at that is highly insulting. my best friends we're forced to leave a different site because of all the hater messages she recieved after a troll found out she was gay."<br /> <br /> And I'm sorry for her, then. Trolls are horrible, but they are everywhere on the internet. If I were her, I would have reported the troll, and if they continued, block them or troll right back. Trolls are everywhere on the internet. Sorry if it sounds cruel, but you gotta live with idiots like that on the internet.<br /> <br />

07-5-2011 at 8:15 AM

you might not think it's bad they might not think it's bad i don't think it's bad ala doesn't think it's bad but their parents might think it's bad and pull the kid off ala. be a little open-minded. <br /> <br /> "Oh god, that's a laugh. Stopping people from discussing their sexuality STOPS exclusion? What? I mean...just what?XD Really? So, it's inclusion? But, inclusion is allowing people to be themselves and talk freely about themselves without discriminating against race, religion, sex, gender or sexual preference. So, your statement is completely wrong."<br /> <br /> that fact that you laughed at that is highly insulting. my best friends we're forced to leave a different site because of all the hater messages she recieved after a troll found out she was gay. so i don't know what's so funny about the fact that there are haters out there who will bully people because of things like their sexuality. <br /> <br /> yes this is meant for 13 year olds an up but it's not that perfect, it doesn't work like that. just because something Should be doesn't mean it is.

07-5-2011 at 8:10 AM

"...don't want to influence younger children."<br /> <br /> ...I might as well stop reading your post there. How the hell is me saying I'm bisexual going to influence children? We aren't recruiting people. I can't influence someone to like the same sex. At worst, I could make them realize it's okay to be gay and possibly come out of the closet themselves, rather than feeling ashamed of themselves and alone. And is that really so horrible?<br /> <br /> "and maybe even to stop exclusion, i mean some people here might become a bully to you once they learn your sexuality."<br /> <br /> Oh god, that's a laugh. Stopping people from discussing their sexuality STOPS exclusion? What? I mean...just what?XD Really? So, it's inclusion? But, inclusion is allowing people to be themselves and talk freely about themselves without discriminating against race, religion, sex, gender or sexual preference. So, your statement is completely wrong.<br /> <br /> Also, consider the fact that this is a site originally intended for 13 and up, right? Sexuality is not mature discussion for a 13 year old. If I'm not mistaken, parents have to sign consent for their children to go on the forums and the chatrooms. This acknowledges that they think their child is as mature as a 13 year old.

07-5-2011 at 8:02 AM

they discourage talking about your sexuality on chat? well im sure it's because they don't want to influence younger children. and younger children dont really think about what they're going to say and if youre like "im homosexual" they might insult you or their parents might flip and take them off the site. ala just doesn't want to teach kiddies anything that might upset their parents or cause hurt feelings between players. and maybe even to stop exclusion, i mean some people here might become a bully to you once they learn your sexuality. frankly it's just better to play it safe. i mean of course they should have the right to talk about it, but maybe in a more protected area other than chat.<br /> i do hate the 'favoritism'. if one person gets kicked off chat for talking about their homosexuality or something then the same should go for talking about heterosexuality. which would be the way it goes if this were truly about protecting hurt feelings. <br /> i was talking to my friend on the open chat and she private chatted with me to bring up an issue about her sexuality, and all was fine. if we could do that every thing would be ok. i know, it's a lot of hassle, but it's better than risking hurt feelings. people here just have different maturity levels is all. yes in media it's a lot different, but parents have control over the ability on whether or not their child sees those things whereas the parents is oblivious to the fact that sexuality and genders will be brought up here. i know thats not always the case.

07-4-2011 at 5:16 AM

Actually, the morality of it was only brought up after someone stopped a previous debate and said something along the lines of "other controversial topics, such as homosexuality are also not allowed", which specified nothing about it being only the morality of it, just homosexuality in general. That's where the whole debate started (and like all intelligent conversation in chat, was eventually pushed out).

07-4-2011 at 5:03 AM

The topic was pushed out from what i understand because of the discussion of the morality of it not because people were stating how they identified themselves.

07-4-2011 at 3:22 AM

I wasn't around for what was said in chat, but I agree completely with Nathaniel and Black Fox.<br /> <br /> LGBT is NOT a mature subject by any means and people should not be forced to stop discussing it because a very small amount of people get offended by it. (I assume it's because of their religion and the "BEING GAY IS BAD" mindset, but as I said I wasn't around to see what happened so I can only assume right now.) If someone is going to get in trouble for saying they are LGBT, or even just discussing it and not including any graphic content, then straight people should be getting in trouble for saying they are straight and discussing it too.

07-4-2011 at 2:34 AM

I don't understand the topic of the debate o.o<br /> <br /> I do have a thread in the 18+ forum about sexual orientation/identitiy and while there, users have expressed their feelings on themselves and others. But I can't contribute not knowing the topic XD

07-4-2011 at 1:49 AM

I agree with every word you said. In my opinion, whatever you are able to say about being straight, you should be able to say about being gay. No one is trying to get us to talk about explicit material in chat. LGBT material is not explicit, mature or inappropriate. It exists, and be defending the ban of such topics, you create more prejudice against that community and you keep up the stereotypes, allowing LGBT members of this site to feel or continue feeling like second class citizens.<br /> <br /> Also, there are childrens books about gay couples and gay marriage. Are those horribly mature and inappropriate? No. They aren't inappropriate in the slightest. One of them, And Tango Makes Three, is just plain adorable. Its gay penguins, not gay sex. But that's a different topic, I suppose.

07-4-2011 at 1:19 AM

I don't see how the discussion of either gender or sexuality is mature provided that the discussion does not slip into graphic detail or anything of the sort.<br /> <br /> The main concern I have is that a person's right to be sheltered from things that exist in everyday life that they dislike (whether it's genderqueer folks or chocolate cake) does not trump the rights of another person to talk about those topics. Freedom of speech should apply before freedom from squickedness.<br /> In fact, I specifically recall one of the admins telling someone that they had no right to tell another player that they couldn't use the term "oh Jesus!" because of religious implications. If that person has no right to force their religious heeby-jeebies on chatters, why should someone have a right to effectively ban discussion of other "controversial" topics?<br /> <br /> More practically speaking, if 9/10 chatters have no issue with the discussion (which seems to be the case most of the time), but 1/10 does...who would you rather alienate from your site's userbase? Telling users they cannot discuss a topic only serves to make that topic controversial in the first place. Gay/lesbian/bisexual people exist. Genderqueer/agender/transgender people exist. By telling people they cannot discuss these things, the topic becomes even more steeped in controversy. It's a circle, and if the cycle is broken by allowing discussion, the taboo would likely fade rather than turning into a big tizzy in chat. When said fights happen, it's usually the people arguing on the side of acceptance and rationality that get the chat bans...why? Why not just ban the one person throwing a fit and be done?<br /> <br /> Then again, this is a private site and if the mods and/or admins see fit, they could very effectively ban certain topics from discussion at all, including those mentioned above. It wouldn't be trampling on any legal rights, but it certainly wouldn't win them any of my favor. They have every right to suppress discussion/debate about gender/sexuality, just as any private forum has a right to limit topics to things they either see as relevant or - at least - appropriate. My opinion on whether or not that is actually a decent thing to be doing, of course, is another issue entirely.